We all live our realities in different ways, depending on our beliefs and principles – this is the reason we have such different opinions on things.

In these friday posts, “whose side are you on?” I will talk about hot topics upon which we all have an opinion. My mission is to make you think about it and see it from different angles… and if you want to tell me your truth, just right in the comments below!!

This week’s topic is very dear to me and is one that I discuss with the students in my courses and with my coachees: reaction or response?

When we live negative situations or are “tested” by negative people, our answer will be one of the following two: react or respond.
The difference is very thin but essential: reacting means playing fast and loose, responding means deciding what to do.

Many of us (me too, sometimes) react – to offenses, to misfortune, to negative situations, to things when they don’t go as we wanted them to, to a bad mark, to a rejection, to a competitor. Reaction is instinctual: it resides in the “fight or flight” automatic response, it generally originates from fear and we learn it right after we were born (when for example our parents react to something wrong we did).

Responding is not instinctual, normally it belongs to grown-ups but can be learnt: observing the situation, stopping for a moment and deciding the following step. We are not used to it for the reasons I told you before and also because in our fast moving world we tend to think we have to do something immediately.

The right question today is not “And you? Whose side are you on?” but “And you? Whose side would you prefer to be?”