This week we talk about love and about how inconditional love can make us happier than conditional love.
Do you remember the last time you fell in love? At the beginning, everything was awesome, you couldn’t wait to stay with your loved one and time was never enough. You gave him or her presents and you put all your enthusiasm in the relationship, regardless of what the other did for you.
Then time goes by and love tends to become an agreement: we look at what the other does, we complain if the other gives less than what we expected and we condition our giving to the other’s giving.
With kids happen the same! We all as kids have heard this sentence, sooner or later: “You are ungrateful! After all I do for you, this is how you repay me?”
It is perfectly normal that love changes as time goes by: we go from passion to deep love, enriched by all the experiences lovers had together.
But when love becomes an agreement, when I give you depending on how much you give me, the relationship sinks, whether or not we are aware of it.
If we constantly measure what the other does for us, and if we feel the other is not showing us the love we would like to have, we withdraw, and that makes the other withdraw as well, and so on.
What we don’t get is that this mechanism works in the other way: the more I give unconditionally, just because I love not because I want to have something in return, the more the relationship grows and the more we receive love.
So, to have the love we feel we deserve, it’s worth to try the opposite you often do: give unconditionally, just because we love.